There is a time and a place for everything… Unfortunately some people never quite figure that out. Let me explain…
It’s Tuesday afternoon, and I’m on my way to drop my daughter off at dance class. At four years old, she loves spending an hour a week in ballerina dreamland, and my job as mom is to make sure that she’s dressed, fueled up, and ready to go as soon as we arrive. So you can imagine the joy on my face when we walk into the door and “crazy perfect overachiever mom” hands her a giant chocolate cupcake. The cupcake is admittedly cute, but insanely messy (four-year olds plus homemade chocolate icing = a disaster). No napkins, no plates.
“Crazy perfect overachiever mom” somehow expected 15 preschoolers to be able to walk around the dance studio lobby while eating messy cupcakes and NOT get icing all over their lavender leotards and pink tights. It’s impossible. Crumbs are being scattered all over the floor. One little girl is scraping the cupcake she dropped, icing-down, off of the floor. With her hands. I’m sure the dance teacher will be thrilled with that.
All of the moms, myself included, are standing here in the lobby looking at each other like what in the HELL is this woman’s problem?! The looks of stunned disbelief on our faces say it all. LOUD AND CLEAR.
Believe it or not, the issue of the mess and inappropriateness of the situation is not even our biggest problem. Crazy mom brought exactly 15 cupcakes for exactly 15 ballerinas… Unfortunately, half of the other moms and I have a host of younger brothers and sisters in tow, and naturally, they don’t understand why they can’t have one. Enter yelling, screaming and angry tears. Now the messy, sticky ballerinas are getting icing all over their moms’ clothes and half the kids are crying…
Hellooooo, rude lady, but that’s just mean… I don’t embrace the “everybody wins and gets a trophy” mentality, but I do believe in having manners and respect for the feelings of others especially when children are involved. We’re all here every week; the math on this one shouldn’t be hard. You had to have known this would be a problem.
Since common sense is clearly not your strong suit, I’m going to spell it out:
This is not an appropriate time OR place for handing out treats.
It’s not acceptable to pass out things to other people’s children without asking the parent first. What if one of the kids had an allergy? Or if we just don’t want our kids getting crap all over their dance clothes?! (I fall into that category, by the way)
I was hoping to make the brand new pair of tights she’s wearing today last until the dress rehearsal and recital three days from now. Now I’ve got to add buying more tights to my maxed-out schedule and spend money I don’t have on replacing them.
Wanna chip in?
While I’m sure you think you are being generous, it just screams of a lack of courtesy and respect. Also, the smug look on your face shows me that you’re the kind of person that likes to make everyone else squirm. No doubt you’re hoping that someone will feel indebted or inadequate because they haven’t engaged in the same behavior of random treat giving.
There is a time and a place for everything. Quit upping the ante on the things that we as Moms already feel pressured to do by society. We’re all doing our best just to successfully get from one day to the next. Use some common sense, and if that fails you, back off and get a life.
Sincerely,
the Herd Manager
Written by Jessica McNeill Azar
Blogger at http://www.herd-management.com and on Facebook and Twitter.