I’ve got a family of small town bitchy moms – aunts, cousins, and a hyper sister. Every holiday I’m forced to smell their cigarettes and listen to their complaints. It is as though these women have given up on themselves and their kids.
Their style is to sit around and bitch about how hard it is to be a mom, how little they are appreciated and how pissy their husbands are…
I sit. I listen. And yes, at times I concur. But for the most part, I really just want to tell them to shut {the fuck} up.
I am not a perfect mother by any stretch of the imagination. I let my kiddos watch too much TV. My house is always a mess of clothes, Lego and Barbies. I kid myself into thinking my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a serving of “fruit + protein”. But you know what? It is me. I own it. But just because I can identify with being less than perfect doesn’t mean I want to listen to them anymore. You’ve got it. I’m climbing onto my soap box and I hope that the matriarchs in my family are listening.
Dear sweet family, here are the three things I want you to do…
Motherhood is Difficult, Get Over It
Ok sweethearts – motherhood is difficult, it can be frustrating, it can make you crazy, and it can make you doubt everything you are. Suck it up buttercups. At the end of the day, motherhood is a privilege and should be treated as such. Your voice is how your children learn to view the world. Your children will grow up one day and judge you for your choices and on how you treated them. Guess what? They can then choose to be in your life, or not. Conduct yourself accordingly and be proud of who you are as a woman and a mother.
Seek Joy
Looking for happiness? Joy can be found in the silence of a household of sleeping children at the end of a busy day of friends, fresh air, and freshly picked flowers. Stop looking for joy in ‘stuff’ and programmed experiences. A regular diet of Chuckee Cheese events and indoor playgrounds just helps you pass time. Spend time with your kids. Go on walks. Let them help you make dinner. Make up stories. Talk to your children as though they are people that matter. Listen to their responses. Engage them.
Feed Your Spirit
Your spirit is hungry. Get out and do you. Be someone other than a wife and a mother. Go skydiving. Drink beer. Dance on a bar. Start a club. Write a blog. You’ll be surprised at how your spirit will respond. Your kids will enjoy seeing you differently too.
For the love of God, stop complaining. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve got healthy children. You have a husband that hasn’t left you – yet. Embrace them. Allow yourself joy. Be someone you’d want to be around. Understand that happiness sometimes takes work. You are not owed happiness, it is yours to achieve.
Know that your children are listening to you – one complaint at a time.
Finally, think of yourself twenty years from now. What will you have wished you had done? Who will you have wished you had been?
Ok – now find her.