Yes, I let my kids be quitters, it’s true.
I have let them quit soccer, gymnastics and all sorts of other activities. I don’t give them too much grief about it even though, in the end, they are exactly what society would label them: quitters. I don’t really care what society calls it, because I have my reasons for doing it.
I see my kids as “tryers”. They are out there exploring activities and opportunities that they know nothing about. They are taking a risk, and taste-testing a bunch of different things until they find what is right. That’s what being a kid and working your way towards becoming a grown-up is all about. Trying on different hats until you find one that fits.
Now, in my defense, we don’t let them quit on a whim. There is a discussion, and a hefty one, about responsibility, about doing our share, team commitments and all the rest of it.
But, in the end, if they hate it, they hate it.
I want to ensure that when my kids are doing something, anything, they love it. Not only that, I want them to bring the best of themselves to everything they do as well. I want them to show up and be present, be committed and be joyful about participating.
So yes, sometimes that means that they will be quitters. But so am I. I’m certainly not still doing all of those extracurricular activities I tried as a kid. Are you? Of course you aren’t. I’d argue that we’re better for it, not wasting our time (or someone else’s) on an activity we don’t value. Our days are too special to do that.
Maybe the next time you are fighting with your kids over a weekly activity, you will take a minute and realize what a waste of your time (and theirs) it is to be doing it. I am sure there is something out there that they would happily attend, where your money, and moments, would be better spent.
Understand the strength it would take for your child to acknowledge that they actually want to quit an activity, to speak up and then deal with the fallout. Then think about the relief they feel in doing so, in having the freedom ahead of them to choose again.
Yes, my children are quitters, and I think they are better for it!