I have just received warning from my daughter’s school that apparently there is a pervert who promises gifts to little children and lures them into his car. A few emails later, it was cleared that this warning had been unnecessary. I breathed a sigh of relief.
And then my husband asked: “Have you talked to her about not going anywhere with people she doesn’t know?”. And I felt my stomach tighting up and tying itself into a thousand knots. Because he is right. I need to have this discussion with my child. I just don’t want to have this discussion because it breaks my heart.
Despite my quiet temper, I do not shy away from difficult topics. Both my husband and I lost a grandmother, and we had to explain death to our 4-year old. When I was pregnant with her little brother, we talked about how babies come out. We didn’t talk about how babies come in, because she didn’t seem interested in that, but one day, we will have that talk as well.
But this is totally different kind of difficult topic. This is the kind of topic I would totally shy away from if I could. I don’t want to talk about perverts. I don’t want to talk about child abductions. I don’t want to explain childhood cancers, bullying, natural disasters, starvation, poverty, and “bad touch” to children.
Hell, I feel I shouldn’t be even made to explain these things. They just shouldn’t happen. They’re unfair and cruel and sick. They make me want to scream and cry and go to the happy place in my head. It is just totally incomprehensible to me that I should even have to explain these things to my children just because some psycho out there likes to hurt little people.
It isn’t fair for my children who have sweet, trusting natures. Should they start thinking that danger lurks everywhere and they have to watch every step? How to find the balance between keeping yourself safe, and having a good childhood?
It has always been my belief that people are good. Not all people of course. But humanity as a whole is good, I think. In my life, I have always relied on help and support from family, friends and strangers, and the kindness of all of these people was absolutely wonderful. So yes, I believe the world is good because so far, it has been good to me, and in return, I am trying to be good to the world.
But even though I may be naïve, I am not stupid. So when my daughter comes back home, I will sit her down and tell her not to go with anyone she doesn’t know. I will tell her to listen to herself and not agree to anything she feels is wrong. I will tell her all that and more.
But I wish and wish and wish I didn’t have to.