Perhaps you’ve seen the hashtag that has been trending on twitter thanks to Clementine Ford and her #QuestionsForMen campaign, which was born out of an earnest question she’d asked of fellow writers on twitter:
Question to the male writers/speakers etc out there. Is it common for you to be called an ‘attention seeker’? Or do just women get that?
— Clementine Ford (@clementine_ford) February 3, 2015
As the discussion evolved, everybody began to realize that the term “attention seeker” was a gendered one, more typically experienced by women than men. Clementine wondered what other double standards she could uncover, and thus the hashtag #QuestionsForMen was born.
When we started the BLUNTmoms version of the campaign on twitter (using the same hashtag, thank you Clementine), the hashtag was criticized for being an unfair generalization. Granted, we didn’t invent it, but to us it seems the point of using the word “men” in the hashtag is not to point a crotchety finger in the face of the entire male gender, but rather to highlight the absurdity of these questions when posed to men. The same supposedly innocuous question when asked of a woman feels inappropriate and confrontational when posed to a man. Hence the hashtag. So would everyone please just simmer down.
Regardless of how one feels about the chosen hashtag, the fact remains: Subtle sexism is everywhere. Blatant sexism is everywhere. Check out these tweets to see what we mean:
#questionsformen Ever been out with a bro and been approached by a woman and asked ‘What are you guys doing here alone?’ – @SarahAnnGilbert — BLUNTmoms (@BLUNTmoms) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Have you ever been berated and belittled for pointing out sexism and double standards? @BLUNTmoms — Kassandra King (@snob603) February 6, 2015
Which Spanx work best under a suit? And how do you enhance your “assets” in workout gear? #QuestionsForMen @BLUNTmoms — Jessica (@RappaDappa) February 6, 2015
How does it feel to quit your job because your salary doesn’t cover childcare but your wife’s does? #questionsformen @BLUNTmoms — Swallow, My Sunshine (@growthesunshine) February 5, 2015
#questionsformen Has a contractor ever told you they need to speak with your wife before they agree to be hired by you? @BLUNTmoms — Kathy Radigan (@KathyRadigan) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Has anyone ever told you not to worry “your pretty little head” over it? @BLUNTmoms — Hilde M. Vonk (@JufVonk) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Has a hardware store employee ever asked you “what can I do for you, little gentleman”? @BLUNTmoms — Hilde M. Vonk (@JufVonk) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Are you ever asked if you’re on your period when you stand up for yourself or disagree with something/someone? @BLUNTmoms — smashley ashley (@iamsmashwee) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Have you ever gotten self-conscious when women ogle your chest while you talk to them? @BLUNTmoms — Alison Huff (@crumbsdown) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen Do you plan on returning to work after your baby is born? @BLUNTmoms — Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) February 5, 2015
#QuestionsForMen how many of your deeply held convictions have been attributed to hormones? @BLUNTmoms — allie (@alliespins) February 5, 2015
I often wonder what is going on in their pretty little heads, don’t you? (See, doesn’t that sound horrible?) Yet men say this to women all the time. It isn’t an issue of humour or culture; it is an issue of sexism and privilege.