Every successful weight-loss program begins with someone standing in front of a mirror saying, “I want to make a change.”
“I want to be healthy.”
“I want to feel better.”
“I want to look different.”
“I want something for myself.”
My decision.
My attitude.
My strength.
My willpower.
My drive to get up every day and stay focused on achieving my goal.
No matter which plan or program you follow, losing weight is one of the most solitary things you can do.
This is why I don’t want to hear you say, “wow, you look great!”
What you have left unsaid is the implied counterpart, “I didn’t think that you looked great before.”
By forcing me to accept your effusive praise, you are also forcing me to give you some of the credit for my efforts.
This was never about you, your opinions or your praise. It was about me doing something for myself.
Even worse, when you say those words out loud, you make the conversation bigger than me and you. Without even realizing it, your exclamation draws the attention of everyone around us.
The little ears sitting nearby. The impressionable young minds that are absorbing everything around them. The woman who can’t bear to see her own image in the mirror because of those last few pounds. They won’t know my reasons for losing weight. They won’t know if it was on purpose or an accident, if it was done in a healthy manner or by passing hours a day heaving over a toilet.
All they will hear is someone saying:
“You count for more because you are now less.” “Your weight defines my perception of you.” “Your weight is the first thing I notice about you.””Your value in this world goes up as the size of your butt goes down.”
Don’t make me complicit in perpetuating this damaging psychological attack on me and everyone around us. Don’t make me into the poster child, willingly or unwittingly, for your values.
I am and always will be the same person and a few inches more or less isn’t going to change that.
Don’t tell me that I look great.