I Am Not Funny Because….

10.) I’m not funny because I don’t watch enough Will Farrell movies to throw out witty pop culture references on a regular basis.

9.) I spend my days with angst-ridden teenagers. There’s no humor in a world where boyfriends break up with their girlfriends the night before prom. Only injustice and pain – lots and lots of pain. #thestruggleisreal

8.) I was spanked as a child and as a result I spend my adult days botching potentially funny stories and fumbling over asinine knock-knock jokes. For the sake of Comedy Central’s future, please don’t spank your kids.

7.) I’ve dated my husband since fifth grade. He’s always been the funny one and unfortunately everyone knows you don’t mess with tradition.

6.) I suck at being funny because I think too much. Comedic opportunity can’t be analyzed – it has to be seized – and the only seizure happening around here is (insert something clever and humorous because I got nothing … obviously).

5.) I live with a threenager who consistently starts her day with the mother load of all tantrums, which is about as hilarious as standing in line at Wal-Mart.

4.) Have you seen the caliber of funny floating around the Internet these days? Seriously, how am I supposed to compete with Key and Peele? If it’s not Scott Sterling or Grumpy Cat, it’s nothing but inferior subpar humor.

3.) I have a juvenile sense of humor. What I find funny other people usually find stupid (see #4).

2.) You know those people who can’t straddle the line between funny and insulting – who try to make a joke and end up making someone cry instead? Yep, me. What’s supposed to be a witty comment always ends up sounding like a personal attack and I’m repeatedly left wondering where my inflection went wrong and why I no longer have any friends.

1.) I care too much what you think. I’m sweating serious bullets over here hoping you found this list even slightly entertaining.

Kara Overton is a wife, mother, teacher, bovine enthusiast, and lover of all things chocolate. She lives in southeast Iowa with her husband and two daughters, where she works as a high school English teacher. You can find her on her blog at www.anadventurestory.com and Twitter at @overtonkara.