I’ve been a Mom for almost four and a half years, even longer if you count in the pregnancy. It seems such a short time in the scope of all things, but if this was a job I could pack my CV with the hands on experience to last me a lifetime. To say I am an expert in all things kids related would be exaggerating. I have to admit though I do know a thing or two here and there, as I am clearly able to fake, oh, I mean make my way through everyday.
As much as I am teaching my kids how to be adults and how we do things in the “adult” world I much prefer all the things they are teaching me. To summarize them all would mean borrowing the famous line: “The more I know, the more I know, I don’t know.” Preparing for the birth I read all there is. If there was a book about babies popping out, I’ve probably at least flipped through it. I was so wound up about giving birth the whole raising a kid thing kind of slipped my mind. I mean honestly how tough can that be once you get it out. It turned out I should have paid more attention to the other section of the books. But with a baby in hand, literally, she pretty much refused her stroller, I was so not into anybody being smart. It was kind of my mess to clean up. Besides half the books on giving birth were false, as it was neither that awful or that good, thus I figured I’d just skip them and face facts that were starring me right in the eye. Besides the few books I did mistakenly read made absolutely no sense to me. On my own I have discovered these undeniable truths:
1) If it doesn’t work try a different approach. Very simple, if pleading and cajoling don’t work, I yell, then I threaten and lastly I give up. She has an unfair advantage to begin with, I’ve done hours of work or am about to, she’s done nothing but play.
2) When in doubt, change the subject. If they ask me something I don’t know how to explain, like how were the hills made, I offer cookies or chocolate or talk about a non-existent cat. It happens a lot, I am just not good at explaining things without making much bigger of a mess.
