It’s 2016 and screens are fucking everywhere, and yet I can’t open Facebook without seeing an article on the detrimental, life-altering effects of screens on the youth of the world. Don’t we parents have enough to worry about, what with rapists, murderers, car accidents, and cancer in this world? I would have to covert to an Amish lifestyle to avoid screens, and this debate is just upsetting everyone. I hear the arguments; I see the judicial stares…

Sure, your kids should have a balanced life and go the fuck outside once and a while for some fresh air, but can we stop judging that parent in the restaurant for handing his/her iphone to their kid so they can enjoy a meal out in peace? Can we stop rolling our eyes when little Timmy who’s only two, can operate a smart phone better than we can? And can we pleeeease stop talking about it? Pretty please, with sugar on top?

The real debate is not about screen time, it’s about a balanced life. If you provide your kids with plenty of time to do other activities, then watching television or playing games on tablets just really shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

I especially like trying to limit my kids’ screen time, and then hopping on my computer to watch a show on Amazon Prime or write an article.

“Hypocrite!” My daughter would shout if she knew the word, but she understands the concept.  Instead she says, “That’s not fair!”

No, kid. No it isn’t.

Why should I tell my kids screens are bad for them, and then glue my eyes to one myself? Are we to avoid locations where a screen is present? It would be the hermit life for us, then.

Can we all just agree that technology is kind of a thing, and fighting against it is as useless as fighting against the invention of the light bulb. Oh no, my eyes! The artificial light is bad for our eyes and damages delicate particles in the retina; we must go back to candles and bonfires!

That is how ridiculous this debate is becoming. Yes outraged friends, please do post links in the comments of researched-based articles that tell us all in an oh-so-condescending way that screen time is so bad. Is it? Is it, though? Except, you are using a screen to access those articles and read this one, and paste that link, technologically savvy you, into the comments section.
Everywhere you look there is a T.V. on, a computer humming, a smart phone chirping, a tablet booming, or a monitor telling you when your flight leaves, or a screen telling you how to swipe or insert your fucking credit card. There’s a screen in the car with a digitally accented lady voice giving you directions in the rental car. There’s a screen on your watch now. My eight-year-old daughter’s classroom uses ipads for fuck’s sake, and I am forced to access her grades and other learning tools online. They use apps to study math facts. Screens are everywhere!

Yes, yes, I know…we are all just soooo sad for the loss of our past, when life was so much simpler, and we could hear ourselves think, and we all played outside for hours and hours and our parents couldn’t reach us, and blah-blah-blah.

If we missed that lifestyle so badly we would all be throwing our technology out the window. Oh wait, hold the phone! There’s a group of people over there…standing around with their smartphones… What are they doing? Are they protesting screen time? Are they torching those evil, brain-rotting screens in a melted mass of totally necessary outrage!? Oh…ne’ermind! That’s just a PokeStop.

For the love of my husband’s surgically enhanced Lasik eyes (his bad eyes come from too much screen time when he was a kid, duh), let it the fuck go, people!


About the author: Katie Rosa is a writer, a former probation officer, The Tamer of The Rose, and mother to Jocelyn and Liam. She thinks her writing is hilarious but really it’s only mildly amusing and sometimes borderline offensive. Still, she giggles madly to herself while doing it, so she can’t stop. She loves referring to herself in the third person because this makes her feel like a character in a story. Author of A Rowboat Out of Sand, available on amazon. Check out her website, or follow her on twitter: @judgemecrazy for more info about her books and other writings.


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1 Comment

  1. Hear hear! I for one am fed up with the hypocrisy! Nothing more to add because you’ve said it all!! 😀

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