Husband: Hey hon, you wanna bake some cookies with me now that the kids are asleep?

Me: Didn’t we just have cookies like two nights ago?

Husband: Uh, noooooo, it’s been like, two weeks.

Me: NO. It can’t have been that long. Really? Are you sure???

Husband: *grits teeth* Um, YES. I am very sure. And I am really craving some cookies right now.

Me: What about last weekend… surely we would not let a Saturday pass by without indulging in some cookies?

Husband: I was out of town, remember?

Me: Oh, shit. Indeed.

Husband: …

Me: …

Husband: …

Me: …

Husband: …

Me, whining: Ughhhhhhh I’m sooooooooooo tired. Like seriously soooooo tired. I am just not in the mood to bake right now. Can’t we make cookies tomorrow night? We’ll do it early, right after the kids go to sleep.

Husband: I really want some cookies tonight.

Me: Ohhhhh, FINE. I’ll get the ingredients. *gets out the ingredients*

Husband: Hey, by the way, I read that article you sent me.

Me: Huh? What article?

Husband: The one that had different ideas for men on how to bake cookies for their wives.

Me: Really? What did you think?

Husband: I think I have a new recipe I’d like to try.

Me: Does it have nuts? You know I don’t like nuts in my cookies.

Husband: No nuts. It was a good article, though. By the way, I think you should know … I really like the cookies you make for me. I think they are the perfect recipe, exactly how they are. You don’t need to change a thing.

Me: *SIGH* You know, it’s funny you should say that. I was talking with some friends the other day, and a couple of them were saying that their husbands pretty much never join them in the kitchen for cookies. Like, never. And I always thought it was the husband who constantly begged the wife to bake him cookies. I never really thought of how hurtful it would feel to have a constant craving for cookies, and the one person you want to eat them with is never in the mood for them. It made me feel lucky that you still enjoy baking with me. I should probably not take that for granted.

*mutual sigh*


Husband: DAMN, those cookies were really HOT! Gotta be careful with those suckers!

Me: GRRRGLDEYBBRRRRRRRRPHHH WHYYYYY do we not bake cookies every three hours??? How could I ever NOT want to bake cookies with you? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

Husband: I … don’t know?

Me: Gahhhhhhhhhhhd, those cookies were surprisingly delicious! And HELLO, I liked those extra ingredients you put in the mix. You were so kind as to not try to surprise me with nuts.

Husband: Don’t think I didn’t consider it.

Me: I would have spat them out on you.

Husband: I’m kidding; you know I wouldn’t do that to you. Though, to be honest I wasn’t sure you’d like that new ingredient. Before reading that article you sent me, I’d never heard of anyone putting that ingredient in a cookie recipe before.

Me: Well if I’m being totally honest, I think I like our original recipe best. This one is a tiny bit spicy for me. But we should definitely keep it on hand for special occasions.

Husband: Okay. Well you seemed to really like it. You weren’t pretending to like it just to make me feel good about my new recipe, were you?  

Me: No! Not at all! I did, I did, don’t get me wrong, I SO totally did enjoy the new ingredient. It was delicious. Out of this world. Didn’t you hear me moaning because of how overwhelmed my taste buds were??

Husband: Yes, yes I did. You’re a very noisy cookie-eater. So, uh… does that mean you want more? I’m pretty sure I could whip up another batch.

Me: Meh. I’m too tired. But let’s definitely bake more cookies this Saturday.


Kristen Mae is a novelist, freelancer, classical musician, and artist. Follow her on Abandoning Pretense, and check out her books, Beyond the Break and Red Water, available now at most online booksellers.


  1. Pure genius. Reminds me of the “coloring” conversation from the Sex and The City Movie. Sometimes getting in the kitchen feels like climbing Mt. Everest. But when you hit the peak, you remember why it was worth the effort.

  2. Loved this! Not sure if it makes me want sex, cookies or both. Both, definitely both!

  3. Loved this. We used to say, do you want to go to the gym? I don’t want to work out, I’m too tired, oh we always feel better after we work out, good point. And, in home gym.

  4. Ain’t that the truth! Once you eat that cookie you’re all, why didn’t I want that cookies? I love cookies!!

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