I have two grown children and I am married to a man who has three small children. He shares custody, and they are with us half the time. I love them. Really. I do. REALLY.
They are spoiled, messy, and sometimes a huge pain in my ass (my opinion, not his). I often subscribe to the “act-as-if” philosophy popularized by 12-steppers, where one “acts-as-if” something is real. Its’ acting, but in real life. And I don’t dislike the kids all the time. 85% of the time, I am a dinner-cooking, homework helping, crafting-teaching, shutting-upping stepmom. But, on those rare occasions when we skip a week because they are away for some reason or another, I lament the fact that they are away. And I am a big fat liar – because I am really doing the happy dance in my heart.
There it is – my guilty secret. I love having some extra time without them. Oh my GOD it feels good to say that out loud.
When I married this man that I adore (and who loves me) I knew that I was essentially starting over because of three little ones under the age of 10. My friends told me I was nuts. Why would I trade in my been-there-done-that status for once again dealing with potty-training toddlers, snotty 10-year olds, messy sticky little hands and the bevy of mammals who also inhabit our ancient, giant house always in need of cleaning or repair. No one really understood it – sometimes not even me.
Did I mention that I have a teenager that lives with us full time – like 100%, who hasn’t stayed with father even one day in more than 2 years? Did I also mention that my husband treats her like his own, even when he is frustrated that we never ever get a break from this 14 year old drama queen? Or that she is glued to me like white on rice? I guess he thinks she is spoiled, messy and a huge pain in the ass (his opinion, not mine). I bet he rejoices when there is a sleepover and we get a break.
So there is the reality of the blended family – not the Brady Bunch, more like the Little Rascals, or maybe the Munsters. Oh my, the things we do for love.
Have a great day, your secrets are safe with me, my friends.
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OMG YES! I’m 100% with you on that one…thank you for having the balls to say it out loud for those of us who can’t…yet 🙂