Three weeks before

Text husband hints about your Mother’s Day gift. Include links to facilitate online ordering. (Note: He is not going to check your Pinterest page, “WHAT I WANT FOR MOTHER’S DAY.” Forget it.)

Two weeks before 

Start reminding your husband to get a gift for his mother. Tell him that he needs to handle it himself this year or she’s not getting so much as a card.

One week before

Buy gift for your mother and your husband’s mother. Write a beautiful sentiment on each card, bribe your children to make “art” for Grandma. Ship gifts.

Wednesday before

Volunteer at school. Help class make Mother’s Day gifts. (Note: Don’t forget the hand sanitizer. You don’t want to be sick for your special day.)

Friday before

Kiss your last window of “free time” goodbye. Attend preschool Mother’s Day Tea. (Note: Don’t forget to bring the juice boxes. Organic, please. And wouldn’t it be cute if you put little flower stickers on them?)

Day before

Clean house from top to bottom and catch up on laundry so you don’t have to do it tomorrow. (Note: “Mother’s Day Weekend” is not a thing. Kids sports and birthday parties are on as usual.)

Night before

Grocery shop for your “surprise” breakfast in bed. (Note: As long as you’re at the store, you might as well shop for the week.)

Mother’s Day

ENJOY YOUR DAY! Be sure thank your family for how special they made it.


Peyton Price is a mother of two, and the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches from Behind the Picket Fence, which happens to be a perfect Mother’s Day gift from you to you. BUY IT NOW!

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Peyton Price is the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches From Behind The Picket Fence. You can find her making pathetic excuses in social situations and at


  1. UGH. THIS POST IS MY LIFE. EVERY SINGLE MOTHER’S DAY. And birthday. And Christmas. And Valentine’s Day.

    Great job! Loved it!

    (Oh you forgot “Deal with the passive aggressive complaining about something you got wrong, most likely the mother-in-law gift.)

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