It’s been another stormy week on the social media front. This time in the headlines was the most shocking and offensive act a parent could possibly do – kiss their own child.
Has everyone just gone a little bit crazy, or is it just me?
It really seems to me that people have way too much time on their hands if an innocent picture of a mom, kissing her five year old daughter in a pool, can stir up so much controversy and debate, creating a new ‘parents v parents war’ on the great big world wide web.
For those of you who potentially live in a cave on a mountain somewhere (good for you) and have no idea what I am talking about, allow me to explain what the big hoo hah is all about.
Victoria Beckham (formerly known as ‘Posh Spice’ from the ‘Spice Girls’), recently posted a picture on her Instagram account of her and her five year old daughter Harper in a pool. In the picture, the mom and daughter and kissing on the mouth, and when I say “kissing”, what I mean is giving each other a little peck on the lips.
In response to this pictures two camps were very quickly formed. The one was of people saying how wonderful the picture was and how loving and lovely they both look. The second camp consisted of those who felt the picture, and the kiss in particular, were both inappropriate and even “distinguishing”. Some people even went to the extreme calling Mrs Beckham a ‘lesbian’.
Now, I am all for hearing out everybody’s opinion and I respect the fact that what works for me as a mom might not work for everyone, but I have to ask those people who made it sound like it was borderline child pornography – are you guys actually serious?
Has the world really come to this, that a kiss between a mother and her child, in public, in broad daylight, in the most innocent manner can actually somehow make anyone think it was even remotely sexual?
It took me back a few months.
Remember that picture of the dad, sitting in the shower with his child who was sick? Both of them appeared to be naked and the reason they were in that position in the first place was cos the child was very ill and the dad wanted to help and cool the child down. Not knowing what to do, the desperate father did the only thing he could think of. Mom, who was there with them at the time, took a picture of this stunning moment and posted it on line. (See image below).
What happened after that was nothing no less than a virtual volcano eruption. In short, all hell broke loose with critics and haters popping out left, right and centre calling that dad everything from “pervert” to a “child pornographer”.
It shocked me when that happened.
You see, what I saw then in that picture, (and what I see now in Mrs Beckham’s picture) are the same thing – LOVE.
In that amazing moment, that father did the only thing he could think of to help his child and I have no doubt that any loving parent would have done the same. The only difference may have been that perhaps for others, this tender loving moment would have stayed private.
I guess this is where I am going with this.
In my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with Mrs Beckham kissing her daughter on the mouth. As someone who constantly kisses all three of my girls on their mouths (and tummies, backs, hands, stinky feet, cheeks, heads, eyes etc), I am really the last person to judge or comment on her ‘smooching’.
Having said that, I do think that the REAL issue is in fact how publicly we ALL live our lives today. Social media has made it possible for anyone to be ‘viewed’ by millions so that what used to be only a problem for celebrities, is actually everyone’s problem now.
When that father posted that famous picture, I doubt he was expecting the amount of attention it would get. But one share after another that picture reached more people than he will ever know in his whole lifetime and before he knew what hit him, his hairy chest and sexual preferences were everyone’s business.
I guess what I am trying to say is that perhaps we should learn to keep those private and intimate moments to ourselves rather than share them with the whole world and especially when it comes to people like Victoria Beckham who are already naturally more in the public eye than the rest of us.
I have a feeling that Mrs Beckham would have enjoyed looking at that picture in years to come more had she not shared it on her Instagram and with the whole world but I don’t think she should be sorry for kissing her daughter. I for one thank her for sharing this special moment she had with her daughter with me, but I also hope she knows she doesn’t always have to.
In fact, I hope we all realise that some moments are best kept private, not because they are something to be ashamed of, but rather because they are too special to be shared.
(This post originally ran on Tova’s Blog)
About the author: Tova Leigh is an actress and a writer. She currently lives in London with her husband and three daughters. Tova has written, produced and directed several films that have been successfully screened in film festivals around the world. She is the creator of ‘Tova’s Blog: My Thoughts About Stuff’ where she shares her experience as a mother. Her article I CAN’T SEE A WHITE LIGHT, BUT I KNOW I AM ABOUT TO DIE about her experience with Preeclampsia during her twin pregnancy, went viral and helped raise awareness for the illness.
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