There is a lady who would bubble like a fresh glass of champagne. She always applied lipstick before leaving the car. She dressed with modesty and accessories. She…
I had a hysterectomy almost three months ago. It came as a shock due to a biopsy coming back positive for cancer. The treatment? A hysterectomy. This all came…
Have you ever prayed into a garbage can for the sweet release of death? A gastro bug bit me. It is the kind where you’re on the toilet…
It’s been a bloody awful day. Aunt Flo showed up for a surprise visit. She was 3 days early. Bitch. A lot of other women get at least some…
Dear Family, Consider this your official notice of termination. I am no longer dealing with your crazy. I am no longer going to be listening politely to your…
Oh wait. We can do anything we want. Never let anybody tell you what you can’t do in sports. And find some awesome, comfortable clothes to do your…
One morning, I battered the hell out of an old, plastic toy that nobody played with anymore. I slammed it down, over and over like a maniacal fiend.…
Apparently I am a disgrace to modern women. As if wasting my University degree by staying home to clean toilets wasn’t bad enough, now I don’t want to…
Call me sacrilege but it’s more important to me how you celebrate Christmas than why. And by celebrate I mean decorate. This, dear populace, is a time to…
I can already see people getting their hackles up, before they’ve read past the first line. Elf on the Shelf?! Whatever you have to say, you’re wrong! Right? Haha,…