Dear Prince Charming,

Today I found your blog… you know the one… where you wrote a letter to your future wife reminding her that she is already beautiful, that she should maintain her dignity and pride and hold steadfast because one day you will find her? It was a good read, I must admit, but I’ve taken issue with a few things here, so I’m going to set them straight for you, you know, from a woman’s perspective.

You see, although I know your intentions were good, you’re actually doing more harm here than you probably know. I know you don’t want to do that, so I’m going to break it down for you and explain where you went wrong… after all, your future wife deserves a man who really understands and appreciates women, doesn’t she?

 Here’s your letter, I hope you don’t mind but I marked it up a bit. My notes are in bold, as they should be.

 —

“How’s it lookin, good-lookin?

(I’m just going to move past the obvious weight you’ve put on her beauty, because we all know you were trying to be nice and NOT trying to restrict your future wife down to how she looks… that would be rude.)

 I don’t know who you are yet.  I don’t know what you look like.  I don’t know the color of your eyes.  I don’t know the color of your skin.  I don’t know your name.  There are a lot of things that I don’t know about you, but there are a couple of things that I want you to know.

 You’re Already Beautiful.  Congratulations, babe, you did it. (How exactly does one “do” beautiful? What kind of achievement is this exactly?)  You are already beautiful.  Seriously.  If beauty is a game, you’re a pro.  You are perfect already.  You were beautifully and wonderfully made.  You have nothing to fix.  Let me say that again, you have nothing to fix.  God did not mess-up on you. (Does God mess up on people, and if he does then are we allowed to judge those people under harsher light or should everyone be treated equally, or primarily based on their looks?)  I know what society is telling you.  ”You have to look like this, wear this, and have this in order to be beautiful.” Nope.  You’re already beautiful.  Beauty is more than what you put on in the morning.  You don’t need to lose weight to be beautiful.  You don’t need to pack on the make-up to be beautiful.  You don’t need to have all the curves installed to be beautiful.  You don’t need to have perfect skin to be beautiful.  You don’t need to act a certain way to be beautiful.  You don’t need to wear certain clothes to be beautiful and you definitely don’t need to take them off to be beautiful.  Oh, and you don’t need to have sex with me to be beautiful.    You’re already beautiful.  Feel free to grow to be a better, healthier, more confident you.  In fact, I encourage it.  But let me remind you that when it comes to being beautiful, you already won.   You are beautifully and wonderfully made. (Buddy, I get your message here. Women are beautiful regardless of how much they weigh, how much make up they wear and what their body type is… but here’s the thing, it’s not important if YOU think she’s beautiful, it’s important that SHE knows that she is beautiful and is confident in herself WITHOUT your approval. But you probably knew that already. I can only hope.)

Babe, keep your goodies in your basket.  (What does that even mean?) I get it.  I really do.  When you have a nice car you want to show it off. (People  ≠ Things.)  If you have a nice body, likewise, you want to show it off.  But, what makes a Lamborghini stand out from a Honda Civic?  I see Civics all the time. (So you’re saying that some girls are civics, but the ones that show off are Lamborghini’s? I thought every girl was beautiful?!)  Everywhere I go there is one of those bad boys sitting in the parking lot.  I can count on one hand every Lamborghini I’ve ever seen.  It is always exciting to see one of those.  The Honda, not so much.  (So you like girls who are more expensive and difficult to handle? This metaphor of yours is confusing me.)

Don’t get me wrong, your goodies are always going to be good.  I’ll say that again, your goodies are always going to be good.  (Ladies, even if your “goodies” are being used, this man thinks they’re always good, but not AS good as ones that are being reserved for the few elite members of the car driving community.) But, if everyone and my mom has a look at everything you’re showing off, I’m not feeling like as much of a lucky ducky.  So please, for me, keep your goodies packaged away.  

(So really your message here is that you want a girl who has low mileage… Lamborghini’s can pack on the miles, too..you know! I get what you’re saying, though. You want a girl who isn’t humping everything in sight. Someone who is… hmm… saving themselves for you perhaps?! Here’s the thing, kid, what makes YOU so special that she should? And if she doesn’t? Is she just another Honda Civic to you then? Women have the right to do with our bodies as we please, as long as we consent it is not for you to decide and a woman who is confident and proud of herself should IS beautiful and should never be reduced to the number of sexual or non-sexual partners she’s had, regardless of whether she’s trying to date Prince Charming or not.)      

 You’re a princess worth fighting for.  I said “princess.”  You know, the princess you always wanted to be as a little girl?  Yep, that’s you!  But here is the deal, if you are a princess, you have to act like a princess.  The story goes something like, “The princess waits high up in her castle waiting to be rescued by her Prince Charming (thats me).  This ‘prince’ has to cross the treacherous lands, fight all the battles, storm the castle, slay the dragon and THEN he gets the princess.”

(Okay, first thing here… not EVERY little girl wants to grow up to be a princess. Many little girls think princesses are birds stuck in cages, rather than being allowed to fly free. Most intelligent, beautiful women don’t want to be held back by society or traditional conventions, they just want to be themselves and not some insane ideation of what a woman should or shouldn’t be. – Second… it’s up to a woman how she acts, not you. Maybe she grew up wanting to be a knight, or a queen or Joan of Arc! Fighting battles, defeating dragons, crossing treacherous lands. Are you only looking for princess who you can defend, or are you willing to spend your lifetime fighting BESIDE your partner instead of for them?)

It’s a pretty cool story, really.  Prince Charming doesn’t just walk up to the castle doors, spit a little game, and off they go to happy ever after.  You’re a PRINCESS.  You’re worthy of a fight.  If you give yourself to someone who isn’t willing to fight for you, he isn’t worthy to be with you.  Your prince charming isn’t going to fight to take your purity, he is going to fight to protect it.

(I’m gonna drop some knowledge on you, intelligent and strong women can fight their own battles. They don’t need a prince standing up for them, and although I’m sure it is appreciated when necessary, what you’re doing here is saying that all women need someone strong to protect their purity… but you’re focusing on the purity instead of the keyword: their.)

Don’t settle for me, make me go to work.  Don’t let me sweep you off your feet without putting in any work.  Remember, I have to “cross treacherous lands, fight all the battles, storm the castle, slay the dragon and THEN,” I get the princess.  Make me go to work.  Don’t let me have you easy.  You deserve a gentlemen.  You deserve chivalry.  Do not settle.  There are going to be a lot of guys who come through who might look like me, they might be dressed like me, and they might talk like me, but if they don’t put in the work like me, they don’t deserve you like me.  I am out here waiting for you, don’t settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you.  Don’t settle.

(This one is true. Women shouldn’t settle for anything less than someone who is going to treat them with the utmost respect. That being said, anyone who thinks that they have any control or dominance over their beauty, goodies or princess status probably isn’t very respectful of women in general, are they?)

Our fairy tale will happen, but remember it doesn’t go from ‘once upon a time’ to ‘happy ever after.’  There is a battle that goes on in those middle chapters.  Sometimes I am going to mess up.  Sometimes you are going to mess up.  I am going to say things I don’t mean and mean things I don’t say.  Sometimes I will forget that you are a princess and sometimes I will get distracted. But, together, through love, patience, communication, and the grace of God, we are going to win.

(I’m gonna stop you right there, Charming. You see, the LAST thing young girls – including your future wife – need is a fairy tale. Fairy tales are what they are because they aren’t realistic. They don’t have much bearing in the real world. Women shouldn’t be growing up focused on finding their true love, they should be focused on what THEY want out of life and how THAT will make them a better person. Disney has a handle on the fairytale scenarios, don’t worry… )

I understand I might have written this a little late, but I don’t care who you were yesterday, I care who you are today and who you will be tomorrow.  Make a change if you need to.  Let us grow together.  It is not too late.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or how many of these items you have missed, it just matters what you are going to do now!  You are beautifully and wonderfully made by the hands of a perfect Creator, live like it!

(This part is better, but you shouldn’t care who they were yesterday just as much as who they will be tomorrow. If your future wife is going to make a change, it shouldn’t be to fit the mold of your perfect ideal wife; it should be because she’s doing it for herself. She shouldn’t feel like she has to fit into anyone’s box (or that she should keep hers hidden away like a treasure, for that matter!) It’s not too late for you, either, Charming, to change how you view women and their place in society. It doesn’t matter what you’ve said, or written or thought, all that matters is what you are going to do now! You are living in a modern society with women who have rights, strength and desires, and you should live like it!)

~Prince Charming~

So there you have it, Charming. I hope you are man enough to admit you have a little bit left to learn about life and women. Don’t take it personally, it’s hard finding good men who keep their goodies in their baskets these days!

Author

In the span of 5 years Christella has gone from Tour Buses to Temper Tantrums, chronicling her ups and downs as a young mom of two boys on her blog, Crawl The Line. Her special brand of humour and her tongue-in-cheek approach to parenting may not be winning her any Mother-Of-The-Year awards, but she wouldn't change it for the world! The next thing she's going to conquer? The dishes. Eventually...

4 Comments

  1. Even if I wasn’t married, I would immediately list this man under “do not marry”.

    “You don’t need anything fixed.” Uh, ok, but what brought up this idea? Exactly? Etc. Well, I won’t add too much to what you’ve already posted – it’s pretty much all there.

  2. Um….not to stir the pot here, but all I read from this post is be a lady.
    Nothing about dropping education, your dreams, or goals for your prince charming.
    I have raised a daughter (and had a hand in raising another little blond girl when she was young & living with me & my Granny 😉 ) to be a lady. I often use the phrase when the subject of tattoo’s came up ‘you don’t put bumper stickers on a ferrari’ not in anyway implying my daughter should be treated like a car.
    I think what he was implying with the car comment is to keep that first kiss special….that first time special.
    That first love magical….if more girls acted like ladies & ‘saved’ themselves we may see more graduating from high school because they were focusing on school rather than the attention they could garner from short skirts. I raised my daughter to be a lady, she had one serious boyfriend who proposed to her within 18 months of their first date (which only happened AFTER we met him) They are happily married now, which seems to have kicked off a trend with her friends. I only had one serious boyfriend, who is now my husband of 25 years. I liked being the princess, putting him through the ringer to see if he was `the one’ . I think what he is saying is, you just don’t let just anyone handle a fancy car & all girls should see themselves as that level of high quality? I have seven boys…..they all feel the same way. If it’s not a challenge it’s not worth it. I think that’s why guys are so into sports & fancy cars, competition in general seems to rule their minds.

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