I have a younger sister who owns the title, “hot sister” and has since 198something. It’s pretty well deserved. She’s 40 now, and still has that “hot” element working for her.  (Actually over 40 but would never admit it.)

You know those skinny-minny, sexy biker shorty-shorts nobody in their right mind past the age of freshman-forty have the right to wear?

My sister can wear them. And wears them well.

The fucker.

She’s skinny. And strong.

Blonde.

Fit.

Somewhat hip.

Tattooed, but not in a trashy sort of way. (Okay, maybe a teeny, tiny-bit trashy.)

And for as long as I can remember, she’s been turning heads.

So it was no surprise when she called me, to bloat about extra attention she recently received while working out at her gym.

When at the gym one morning, as she is every day pre-dawn, various younger-than-she muscle-y dudes paid her a bit more attention than usual.

Ample smiles and head nods. Men glancing towards her with smiles – all morning long.

‘How you doing?’ inquiries to her well-being.

“I admit, I was sooooo loving it,” she confessed.

Knowing, she’s still got it. She’s still the hot chick. Forty, schmorty, she can wear the same jeans from high school and her boobs weathered the breastfeeding storm much better than mine.

She has two teenagers, her own business, an ex-husband, and was still hot stuff. The proof was in the gym.

Except when she got to the locker room and realized why she had earned so much attention this fine day.

A panty-liner stuck smack dab in the center of her forehead would not garner as much attention.

Remember those cute biker shorts? You know how they come with a built-in, breathable, white 100% cotton crotch as big Toledo?

Do you have any idea what those cute shorts look like on an ass – any ass – when worn INSIDE OUT? With the stark white panty-liner stretched clear from sea to shining sea?

All those guys in the gym sure do.

(This post originally ran on Kathryn Mayer)

About the author: Kate Mayer is a potty-mouthed, sometimes cynical storyteller, humorist, and activist sharing life as she lives it in Newtown, Connecticut. She is a recent, reluctant inductee to AARP, the co-creator of two quasi-adults and two wannabees, and an aspiring writer with the rejections to prove it. She writes about work, teenagers, midlife, social issues, feminism, and gun violence prevention at www.kathrynmayer.com, and is sometimes funny on Instagram and Twitter as @klmcopy. Follow her on Facebook, but please don’t be an ass.

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