The moment a child walks in on their parents making love is often accompanied by confusing feelings, thoughts, and reactions. Instead of cowering in shame, this serves as an opportunity to educate your young one about love and physical intimacy. This is achieved by ensuring that you are in control of the situation and limiting their exposure.
You and your significant other just woke up, and as the intimacy bell tolls on, you find yourselves making love out of nothing at all. Just as you get into the heat of the moment, your doorknob turns. Your little one is standing transfixed on the doorway, a look of confusion evident on their face. Do you shout them away? Or hide under the covers until they walk out of the room?
“What are you doing?” they ask inquisitively. A puzzled look is written on the tiny face. Your mind screams, “Say wrestling.” But the voice of reason says it may be time for the birds-and-bees talk and all about hookup sites.
Some parents are mentally prepared ahead of time when they have kids who can run through the house. So when the kid accidentally sees their parents making love, they are already thinking about what response will be most appropriate. Unfortunately, this is at the bottom of the priority list for a majority of parents. This is why it is often embarrassing for both parents and their kids whenever there is an accidental peep show.
Are they staring straight at you questioningly? Or are they looking around as though they just walked into a strange universe through the bedroom door portal? Or did their eyes meet yours, and it’s clear right away they know what’s happening. After all, they may have seen a man and woman making love on TV before.
Here’s how to survive this awkward scenario without angering either one or both parents involved. It would be best to prevent any negative feelings that may arise, leading to something worse, such as acting out against peers at school. This article looks at how you can turn that moment into a teaching and learning opportunity with minimal emotional scarring.
What To Do
Step 1: Collect Your Thoughts (…and Your Clothes Too)
Your initial reaction, like with any awkward circumstance, may not be the right one. When agitated, psychologists believe it’s easy to speak too much or say the incorrect thing. Before jumping into an explanation of why couples making love is normal and natural, take a little break to restore your composure.
Don’t assume your child witnessed everything – or even a lot of it. What’s going on behind those covers may be apparent to a kid of school age. A younger child is more prone to be confused about what is going on and might be terrified by even the noises of lovemaking.
Step 2: Have the Talk
Very young children are spooked by the sight of a couple making love. They may take a defensive stance and try to defend the parent they think is overpowered. This means they will probably jump on the bed to protect you, making the situation more complicated.
So take some time to think about how you’ll manage the problem without going into too much detail or offering long, clinical explanations since this will confuse them.
Put yourself in your child’s shoes and consider how a youngster views every event uniquely and directly. Take steps to alleviate your child’s anxiety. Assure them that sometimes mommy and daddy feel like making love to demonstrate their love for one another. Depending on your child’s age, maturity, and interest, this talk might be broadened to include facts about procreation.
As they grow older, discuss with them sex, intimacy, and love regularly, openly, and positively. We must communicate with kids about sex in a safe, transparent, and positive way. Discuss what it means to say “no.” They should know that the movie with teens making love is a skewed notion of love and intimacy.
Step 3: Set Rules
Come up with a clear set of rules to uphold privacy within the home. Your child cannot unsee whatever they saw, but you should prevent it from recurring.
Teach your kids the importance of respecting people’s privacy and boundaries. They should know that knocking on doors is a courtesy worth extending.
Is It Preventable?
Well, if you wish your little one to keep off images of a husband and wife making love, there are things you can try. For instance:
If your child is old enough to understand the meaning of personal space, talk to them about boundaries. It is best to do this as early as possible. We tried it with our four-year-old, and we’ve never had an accidental walk-in (at least not with this one). It began as a ‘knocking game,’ and we even knocked before going into her room. In no time, she had learned that knocking was respectful.
Teach your kids that they should knock until they are let into a room. Medical experts suggest that children as young as five can understand the birds and bees tale, establish and respect boundaries.
Invest In Locks
By simply adding a locking bedroom door knob, parents may avoid this preventable catastrophe. If you and your partner are about to get intimate, make sure you close the door using the lock. This is the most effective technique to prevent your children from witnessing you having sex. Once kids are old enough to get out of bed at night, a bedroom doorknob with a lock establishes certain limits for them — and gives parents peace of mind while ‘doing it’.
The Bottom Line
It’s said that a married couple making love strengthens their relationships, increases connection and closeness, and maybe a fantastic method to make your marriage happy if done correctly. As a result, you’re both happy, and your family is happy.
However, as natural as sex is, most people would agree that showing their children their parents making love, or however eloquently you describe it, is neither healthy nor acceptable.
Acting clueless and embarrassed will only make your child think that sex is shameful. You also don’t want your child to feel like they are being punished because it isn’t entirely their fault. Instead, give an age-appropriate talk to help your young one understand the sanctity of sex, context, and the value of consent. Turn your mishap into a teaching moment – one more thing you get to cross out of the parenting handbook. Have you ever found yourself in such a situation? What did you do?
About the author: Sherry Kimball likes to write articles with advice which helps couples to improve their relationships. Sherry enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of relationships, weddings, and dating. She is passionate about yoga in her free time.
You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sherry.kimball.9847