- A can of creamed corn
- a Q-tip
- Line dancing in gym class
- The Epilady
- Charo
- Hammer toes
- A pierced nether region
- Expressions like “you do you”
- A porcelain figurine
- A mollusk
- A pigeon in a pillbox hat
- Three cocktail weenies
- A giblet
- Words I forget how to pronounce like ‘scythe’ or ‘schism’ or ‘oeuvre’
- A genuine shrunken head
- Esperanto
- Danny Trejo’s mustache
- A sea cucumber
- The sound “tsk tsk tsk”
- An under-ripe cantaloupe
- A Hello Kitty pencil
- Circus peanuts
- An Allen wrench
- A handful of skin flakes
- The Great Gazoo
- Three more cocktail weenies
- A bust of Margaret Thatcher
- A wonky eye
- Whichever ‘Rocky’ had the Russian in it
- A Royal Caribbean cruise
- Aunt Evelyn’s Waldorf salad
- A boy named Sue
- Over-eyecontact
- Any muppet, but preferably Gonzo
- A robin’s egg
- A Swedish meatball
- Lots of chin hairs
- The garter part of a wedding reception
- Chisanbop
- A cornhusk doll
- That piña colada song followed by that mony mony song
- Spritz cookies
- Sea monkeys
- A walnut coupled with a brazil nut
- ‘Goodnight Moon’. Again. And again.
- Vin Diesel
- Nougat
- Alanis Morrissette lyrics
- A caboodle
- A Barbie shoe
- Vegemite
- A pointy stick
- An invitation to attend a neighbor’s church
- Violet Beauregarde
- A small unplayable trombone
- A lone acorn
- Shirley Temple and ‘Bojangles’ Robinson dance scenes
- Carrot Top’s eyebrows
- Velveeta
- The word ‘moist’
- Something moist
- A recurring nightmare where my teeth fall out
- A goiter
- A knuckle
- Tony Orlando and/or Dawn
- Saran wrap
- Grout
- The nickname ‘Crusty’
- Danny Zuko
- Gluten-free pasta
- A Milwaukee Badgers shot glass
- Rosemary’s baby
- A fanciful ascot
- A sparrow
- A chicken bone
- Any Thomas Kinkade painting
- An empty Pringles can
- A stale hotdog bun
- The tiger that attacked Siegfried or Roy
- Salad tongs
- That fish with human teeth
- A lecture on abstinence
