I warned my husband that I was lousy in the kitchen before we got married. He was hopeful and thought that with practice my skills would improve. When…
Dear Bento box lunch-making mamas, You crazy crafty bitches who set unrealistic expectations by waking up at 5 a.m. every damn day to sculpt gluten-free rice balls into…
It’s a simple yes or no. You don’t need to go to the post office, find a stamp, or even pick up a pen. Hell, you don’t even…
I’m a mid-life, out-of-shape housewife pretending to be a ballerina when my kid is at school. Why? Maybe it’s because I was deprived of ballet lessons growing up,…
Life as a parent is hard. But you can unburden yourself from the pressures of raising a perfect child by just getting a little less “hover” and a…
Finding a good esthetician is harder than finding a husband. That’s why I let my bikini line grow down to my ankles after a cross-country move tragically forced…
My string bikini went into retirement a long time ago but even in my skirted mom swimwear, I still have a bit of a complex at the…
There was that time when my vagina was prescribed Xanax for anxiety. Apparently, that crazy bitch is tightly wound and needs to CTFD. She will also be receiving…
I admit it. I caved to the mom pressure of Russian math. I’m not really sure how it happened. It started with whispers of Kumon. When I heard…
I forgot to pick my kid up from school. I wasn’t stuck in traffic or in a meeting or doing something funtabulous. I was just sitting around the…