I grew up in a small town where the words Chink, Squaw, Wop, Retard, Fag and the N word (which I never could say) were floating in the air like birthday balloons. I didn’t know they were slurs. I didn’t know that those words could hurt. They came out of mouths of people I knew and respected including my teachers, preachers, family and the cast of All in the Family. They were just words to me then.

We evolved. My words do not resemble my childhood anymore and I do a little Exorcist head turn when I hear people use them (mostly the older generation until recently). They are still there in the recesses of my mind but I know they are wrong.

I have noticed, of late, that shouting racial epithets seems to be fashionable. Being sexist and racist has become the new PC. Is this where we want to be, ladies and gentlemen? Is this our new evolution? Do we go back to picking the bugs off each other’s backs and flinging fecal matter too?

In my humble opinion, we had, as a whole, over vectored on the PC thing. There were just so many apologies on the news and retractions in the papers (they do still exist) that it was comical to see the anchors stumble around situations that did, in fact, have a racial component. Lest we forget the Jiggaboo incident of 2015. Oh dear, sweet Fox News.

Unless a suspect is white, the words to describe any ethnicity have become diluted and nondescript over the years. For example, in Minnesota, this appeared on a crime report in a sexual assault case:

The victim describes the suspect as a male, approximately five feet eight inches to five feet eleven inches tall with a medium build. The suspect is between the ages of 25 and 28 years old and spoke with an accent.

Shit! I know that guy!

Now I watch the US politics with interest. It seems like we’re again swinging too far in the wrong direction. When did it become OK to talk about segregating a group of people and leaving them out of the country based on their religion? (cough, Hitler) When did it become OK to put up a wall to keep people out? (cough, Stalin) When did it become OK to openly objectify women? Wait. All of these are Mr Trump. It appears to be OK now to say what is on our mind without a filter. And it is OK to like that about someone else, even love that about them.

Since Mr Trump is still planning on building the wall around the US to keep us Canucks and the ‘oh-so-dangerous’ Mexicans out, I thought I would take advantage. Use this enlightened mode of free speech to bring Canada up to a new standard.

In the spirit of fashionable bigotry, I present to you my plan should I ever run for office in Canada. You know it is possible because, Rob Ford.

These are the groups of people I plan to send to the USA so that Trump can keep his country brave, strong and great. Just like he likes it.

  1. If you think anyone has the right to bring a loaded gun to a Walmart, school, public park or a child’s birthday party. WTF?! Get out of Canada!
  2. If you think gay men and women are anything but exactly who they need to be, get out.
  3. If you paint all one religion with the same brush or attempt to make everyone’s view uniform on the topic, get out.
  4. If you think women are your objects and their vaginas your property, call the Trump hotel in the States. They will happily accommodate you outside of Canada.
  5. If you think your country would be better off if there was no immigration except white, English-speaking Christians and you think removing everyone from your country not in that category will endear you to the world and solidify your super ego. Oh, maybe you should give that a try and see.

So bring on your wall, Donald. You have everything you want coming to you. Your whitewashed, bigoted, obese and spray-on orange country is what you deserve. According to my calculations, there will be nobody left with the skill set or desire to build your wall because all the passionate, loving, smart and healthy are coming here.

My childhood may not be a shining example of growing up enlightened but my friends are certainly a mixture of races, sexual orientations and religions and I like it that way. I don’t discriminate on who I love in my life on anything but who they are in their heart.

So keep your country of assholes, Mr Trump. They heart you.


Kristine Laco shares the stories we all have with a splash of sarcasm, a pinch of bitch and a ton of wine at Adulting In Progress dot com. Her middle finger is her favourite and she lives by the motto that if you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them. She takes selfies at the gyno. Taco Tuesday is her gospel. Reality TV is real folks. She is making turning 50 a job because she doesn't have one.


  1. Lucille Nunnelley Reply

    I don’t really care how you grew up, or who you like or love, what you should realize is that there ARE real rules about the way CIVILIZED people should live and interact, and you also need to understand that your opinion matters to YOU and MINE matters to ME! So…….try telling everyone else what to believe, and see how far that gets you!!! And…….the Chinese built the first Great Wall how many hundreds of years ago to keep out aggressors? Think about that one.

    • Last I checked, Canadians are not the Mongols. I appreciate your opinion and your right to it and glad you appreciate mine. Thanks for reading.

  2. Incredibly misinformed, ignorant, poorly written article. Embarrassing for the author.

    • What is your major malfunction? As the editor of the site, I am the only one who gets to comment on the quality of writing, and then I do so to support the author. I can’t believe you would write that mean and hurtful comment about somebody’s writing. Meany pants…. you should be ashamed.

  3. The previous commenters are the Canadian? I totally agree with the author. If you are bigoted, mysogenistic and don’t give a rat’s ass about how the world views your country and what effect that will have on your future, bye bye. There is a country next door who’d love to have you. If you agree that those things are abhorrent and you happen to live in the USA, I’d love to have you join us if that orange guy wins. But hurry over because I’m not sure how long you’ll have before the wall goes up.

  4. I think the word you meant is ‘epithet’, not ‘epitaph’. I, too, am horrified by Donald Trump but this article was difficult to read (as in not well written.)

    • As the editor of this website this comment made me wonder where you feel you have the privilege to decide what is or isn’t good writing. It might not be to your taste, but really what would make you say something so hurtful to one of our writers? Clearly I missed an edit for which I will fall on my sword, but you Miss Ginger Designs are not being nice and you should put your nose in the corner and feel shame for hurting somebody.

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