Whilst commuting on the West Coast Express daily, I have twenty precious minutes to myself and am able to read my Kindle. It’s a good job it’s a Kindle because I’m (shamefully and awkwardly (awkward is a really awkward word to spell) reading the Fifty Shades trilogy.
I know, I’m slightly late reading them.
Mostly the story line bores me and makes me furious (jealous!?) at the amount of times that gal can orgasm. Pah! Anyhoo, one thing (stick with me now) that I think the author has done quite well is to make a very believable love story between two people.
The lead character (despite being an S & M dark lord and having a worst childhood than Harry Potter) has found his never-ending and ever-lasting love!
He is obsessed at the thought of losing her and would walk the earth for her (or fly himself because he is very rich and can fly a helicopter – which he owns of course).
The point I think I’m trying to make here is that he loves her – A LOT! He loves her to the point of pushing her away with his suffocating and controlling conditions, rules and expectations. His fear of losing her is one of the reasons she wants to escape him (that and his box full of butt plugs).
My tedious link here is that I actually found a lot of similarities described in the book to be that of being a mom. (Can’t believe I’m comparing soft porn to motherhood) Is it possible that we love our children so much, overly protect them, ban them from the activities they want to do most and try to keep them in eyesight always because we are scared of losing them? (Now I finally make my point!)
I know I do it. Daily I try to find the most ridiculous reasons why my kids can’t do things. I’m not particularly strict with them. They are 2 boys after all and I encourage them to go bear hunting in our woods, jump in the lakes and ride scooters in the swearing war zone that is the skate park. But I will let them do it when I am there and can supervise and protect them. The minute they want some independence is the minute I freeze up. I think my six year old is starting to be traumatized at my insistence of him using the female public washrooms with me. I’m not ready to let him venture into the urine soaked jungle of urinals in the Mens washrooms that I know he is more than capable of using.
I love my kids so much and I catch myself sounding like my own mother and using phrases that I swore I’d never use if I had kids. Do I do it because I am scared of losing them? Yes, absolutely! But I think the real reason is because I’m scared that they won’t need me anymore and I’ll be a redundant mom! So until they are safely packed in a car and sent on their merry way to University one day, I will love them as much as I can everyday. I will hold their hands (insistently by me, reluctantly by them) when we go out, I’ll probably embarrass them by walking them up to the school door and kissing them too hard on their cheeks up to college age. I’ll do it as long as they will allow it (or I can force them to). One day I might just let them into the secret that it’s not so much that I’m scared of losing them; I’m more scared that they will lose me.