My heart hurts, right now.
You see, I just realized something incredibly important, something that I have perhaps neglected in my own life too much. I am always talking about my self-worth, and the self-worth of new moms, focusing on telling women that they are enough. And they are, and that is so important to convey.
But I saw a video this morning that made me cry, and it wasn’t about women at all. It was about a man’s self-worth. The video was an excerpt from Luc Besson‘s Angel-A, a film from 2005. Check it out.
Oh my god. Why does this seem so new? So incredibly important and not said nearly enough??
Women live a very public struggle with their self-worth. I know this, because I’m one of those women. But too many men are quietly fighting their own battles. Maybe because their wife left them unexpectedly, maybe because they haven’t been recognized for all the hard work they’ve put in at their job, maybe because they have quietly tried to support those they love and never gotten the support they need in return. But they keep up appearances, because that’s what’s expected of them.
They need to be strong. They’re men.
This excerpt of Angel-A is unbelievably profound. So many of us take for granted the strength that good men are expected to lend to their loved ones. They stand up, and they hold their worlds up quietly. They are so silently good to us, that we forget the care that they may need from us as well. The confirmation that not only do we love them, but that they are worth being loved.
So I am writing this, first and foremost, for the men in my life: You are worthy. You are worth being loved, and your wife, your daughter, your daughter-in-law, your sister-in-law, your mother, your friend? She loves you. So please, please, please do yourself the favour of loving yourself, too.
I cannot express how important it is.
To the men out there that I don’t know, who are also fighting this battle: You are also worthy.
Maybe there isn’t a woman, or another man, there to tell you as much. For that, I am sorry. You deserve to be told. Because you can only be silent, and strong for others, for so long, before you break. Before the appearances you’re trying to keep up become too much to bear. Before it’s too late.
Take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror today, guys. Really look at yourself, and see that you are worth being loved.
Because you are. I promise.
(This post originally ran on The Joy of Cooking for Little Assholes)
