When you are raising children in their late teens and mid-20s, you spend quite a bit of time discussing the finer points of MATE SELECTION. It might arguably be the biggest decision a person ever makes in life and, as such, it warrants thorough examination and discourse. In fact, the topic is on the table so much at my house that I decided to analogize it for my kids: Choosing a mate is similar to choosing a dog breed.

Think about what an enormous personal decision it is to choose a dog. There’s so much to contemplate. Big? Small? Furry? Friendly? Forbidding?

Picking your spouse is EXACTLY the same. Some people don’t put enough effort into the selection process, opting to keep some “mutt” that merely hung around long enough. But, it’s a wise individual that turns selecting a breed into an art form–reading, researching, comparing and analyzing. 

You have to consider which qualities resonate with you today and what qualities will matter to you later on down the road. What can you live with and tolerate for an ENTIRE LIFETIME???

Dogs, like people, rarely stray too far from their inner nature.

I have had several friends through the years that have complained about a particular character trait their mate possesses, and I’m always quick to remind them that most negative qualities generally have a correlative positive quality.

If you married a Pit Bull who goes out in the world “Kicking Ass and Taking Names,” you must understand that he probably can’t turn that side of himself off when he is at home. He may snap at you on occasion. Conversely, if you married a lap dog, don’t be surprised if he is a little too “easy-going” at times. And if you picked a Collie because you were attracted to his genial personality, don’t complain when he licks ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE up one side and down the other!

As I was pontificating on this topic with one of my daughters recently, it occurred to me that it’s actually easier to get a “do-over” if you pick the wrong spouse than if you pick the wrong dog. In the court of public opinion, there is simply no such thing as a “no-fault doggie-divorce.”

If you’re not convinced, take this little test:

1. Pick 10 friends randomly.
2. Picture their reaction to you telling them you dumped your spouse.
3. Now, picture their reaction to you telling them “it just didn’t work out” between you and your dog.

I rest my case.

People are far less judgmental when marriages unravel. We are completely understanding when our friends tell us we “just grew apart”, “were really never right for each other”, “I thought I could change him”, and–my personal favorite– “I have a right to be happy, don’t I?”

But, unfortunately for me, when it comes to one’s dog, there’s no such thing as “conscious uncoupling!”

Actually, the more I think about it, the really big decision you’ll make in life is picking out a dog. Take it from mama, who knew nothing about Chihuahuas as a breed when I picked out Hazel: figure this stuff out while you are young, single and contemplating marriage. 

These days it’s a social imperative to get the dog right the first time, so… YOU BETTER SHOP AROUND!

 

Leslie Blanchard
I am a mother of 5, married to my high school sweetheart for 30 years. I write a blog called, “A Ginger Snapped – Facing the Music of Marriage and Motherhood.” Someone asked me recently why the titles of my essays are song lyrics or  titles and I  realized  it’s because when my husband and I are puzzling through a child rearing  or marital issue, we are always singing the song it reminds us of…  I’m just getting around to my writing career. I usually blame it on being bogged down with 5 kids, but it’s really because I couldn’t lay in the bathtub and write until they invented the iPad tablet and waterproof cover.

Author

Wannabe's are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They "may" share their names with you, or they might write as "anonymous" but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.

7 Comments

Write A Comment

Pin It