For the past decade Facebook has been bridging the great expanses of the internet to allow people to reach out and poke one another and never get their fingers dirty. I freaking LOVE Facebook and I think that Mark Zuckerberg is a young, baby-faced genius who gave us this free playground and deserves to make it rain Benjamins in his backyard pool. Haters gotta hate Mark!
But, and you knew there was going to be a big, luscious but, I have learned (sometimes the hard way) that it is NOT always a great idea to have everyone and their dog; and yes, I have been friended by an actual dog, on my Facebook friend list.
Take heed people. Listen to my warning before it’s too late. Here is a list of people to avoid like bedbugs on Facebook!
Your boss. I don’t care if you work in a nightclub as a body shot girl, don’t ever be friends with your boss. Work is a place where you have to put on an act to fit the roll for which they sign your pay cheque every month. Most people are not the same person at work as they are on the weekend or on vacation or as soon as they step out of the office for lunch. Do you think Clark Kent could have kept up his secret identity (to this day) if he was friends on Facebook with his editor, Perry White? Think about it!
Your ex. It’s tempting, I know. We ALL want to know how much money he’s making? What does his new girlfriend/wife look like? How much weight he’s lost or gained since you dumped his sorry ass? (oh you totally dumped him because you’re awesome!) Don’t fall into this rabbit hole of regret, sorrow and questioning your past decisions. It may seem like a good idea when you’re sitting around with your girl friends over a bottle or 3 of wine, to pull up his page and have a good laugh. However it’s a fine line between a girls’ night ex-boyfriend burning and a night when you’re alone with a bottle or 3 of wine stalking his page while you pin rabbit stew recipes and plot your revenge. You don’t want him in your bed so get him out of your head. Ha! I’m a poet, who knew?!
Your mother-in-law. This one is tricky. I got a friend request from my mother-in-law and I hummed and hawed over it for many months. I let it sit there in purgatory because I knew it was something I couldn’t un-do once I accepted it. Isn’t it bad enough that she gets to judge me when she’s in my house or when I see her at a family function once every few weeks? Being friends with her meant that she had opportunities to judge me from the comfort of her lazy boy recliner all-day-long. What do you mean that’s what Facebook is for? I would never judge something I saw online.
Cannot unfriend. Put on restricted access list. BOOM!
Your friend’s hot teenage son. (Also your son’s hot teenage friend) Right here, this is where the title “Cougar” gets awarded. If you have friends that have teenagers and those teenagers are on your friend list, guess what? Your profile has been shown to all of his friends at one time or another. And when he’s alone with his phone and he flips thru your sexy selfies and he locks his bedroom door and reaches for a gym sock and…well, you get the horrifying picture. That should put your Mrs. Robinson fantasies to rest, you’re welcome. This is especially true for men, stop it, stop it right now. You’re a creep!
So now that you’ve cleaned up your Facebook friends list you should be left with a bunch of co-workers both past and present who all share in the same feeling of “working for the man”, your high school and university buddies who you NEVER see anymore but you like keeping up with their lives and then gossiping about them in private messages (ah, just like the old days, pass the hairspray) and your fellow mommy friends. These are the ladies who you share deep dark secrets with, you drink with, you cry with, you sing karaoke with, you carpool with and you actually have real, in the flesh, life interaction with.
Keep looking for these friend requests.
Who have you unfriended on Facebook?