Ermahgerd Karen. My feed is filled today with haters about last night’s Superbowl half time show. Mad, angry moms about scandalous clothing bits and stripper poles. Honestly, I had to watch the show for a second time to make sure I didn’t miss anything. 

Guys. It wasn’t that bad.

Two very talented women went up there performing their asses off. J-Lo is 50. Damn it if I wouldn’t be up there too, shaking my ass and wearing a sexy costume. 

They are performers; two moms that did the damn thing in a (may I add) tasteful way. Did we see a boobie pastie this year? Move on.

Besides the beautiful messages that J-Lo and Shakira’s performance delivered, which a lot of people looked past, there seems to be a problem with women being sexy and a bit provocative. Women shaming other women, claiming it’s not family-friendly when last year you were front row drooling over Adam Levine’s tattooed body. #Equality. I’m just going to continue to sip on my tea.

The half time show is known to be provocative, a bit exciting. Look at who’s performing and you will just know – did we expect to see J-Lo and Shakira roll out in Snuggies? The best solution to keep it family-friendly: turn the channel for fifteen minutes. Problem. Solved.

In the midst of all this, I brainstormed a list of things that are more damaging for your kid to see than last night’s half time show. ‘Cause relax, it’s not that bad.

  • Blippi
  • CNN
  • Donald Trump’s 2020 inaugural address
  • Baby shark song and the 20 other versions of it
  • Girls Gone Wild
  • South Park
  • Your Facebook feed
  • IT
  • Anything on Adult Swim
  • Walking in on you having sex
  • Everything on the Internet
  • Your vagina
  • American Dirt
  • Caillou
  • The people of Walmart
  • Spongebob Squarepants
  • Algebra homework
  • Your high school yearbook
  • YouTube videos of kids’ unpacking shit
  • A BLUNTmom meme
  • A beach in Spain
  • Finding your hidden stash of dildos
  • You, actively judging other people

And once you get your panties out of your ass crack, hit up YouTube and watch the show again to look for the kickass feminist gems you probably have missed. For example, that tongue wag Shakira did is called a zaghrouta – a traditional Arabic celebration chant. And the choir of girls on stage singing Let’s Get Loud – one of those girls being J-Lo’s 11-year daughter – celebrating the power of women. And possibly my favorite is when those little girls stand up in light structures in the form of cages and Born In The USA fills the stadium –a direct call to immigrant rights.

Bravo to J-Lo and Shakira for a halftime show performance that will be talked about for a long time to come, or until next year’s performance in which I say, I’m here for it.



Laura has lived all around the world, recently moving from Europe to South Georgia. She's a Yankee, so don't expect her to say y'all. In her spare time of chasing her two energetic boys, Laura is a freelance writer, with her work featured on various platforms. Read more of her wit over on Medium, @laurabowerwriter.

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