I recently moved to a new town (well a new town in a new country to be precise) where I don’t know anyone. at all. I was nervous, but having done the same thing four years earlier, I figured I had a pretty good plan in place for meeting some new mommy friends. Let’s face it, mommy friends can make or break a place faster than anything else.

My plan was this: locate the nearest playgroups, drag my darling children to them and then make new BFF’s in 30 minutes or less. You see, I had exactly two weeks in my new town before I had to start a full-time job. I didn’t have time to float around the edges, testing our personalities until I found the set of moms that were most like me. I needed to get in there and get it done in one visit.

This is where my heartfelt plea to playgroup mommies all around the world comes in. I know why you go to playgroup. I really do. I know how much you live for those 60-90 minutes of gossip time with your best gal pals. I realize that those precious minutes might be the only time during the day when you get to have an actual grown-up conversation AND can admit that you haven’t shaved your legs in the last three months (me either…but I digress).

What you need to know is what the playgroup session means to me, Mrs. Newbie Mom. It is likely my only chance for weeks to have an adult conversation about the mummy tummy with someone other than my husband. He loves me, but he thinks it is appropriate to use the word “gym” in that conversation. (It is not. ever. period.) If you choose to ignore me during that first visit, your life won’t change, but I’ll be wandering around depressed for at least another week. I’ll be stuck asking myself, “did we make the right decision” over and over and over again instead of asking you where all the cool moms go to hang out.

The fact is, we Newbie Moms need you. We need you desperately. So if you see us there, and we seem slightly (ok maybe a lot) stalkerish, it is out of sheer desperation for a friend and not any natural tendencies or psychosis. Please, please, take five minutes out of your coffee chat and come and introduce yourself. Take us around the room and hook us up with another mom. You don’t have to be our new BFF (although that is fine too), you just have to be a facilitator.

Look the bright side, you never know when that Newbie Mom is going to be an awesome BLUNTie who’ll have you laughing, crying and peeing in your pants all at the same time on a regular basis.

Author

Lynn Morrison is a smart-ass American raising two prim princesses with her obnoxiously skinny Italian husband in Oxford, England. If you've ever hidden pizza boxes at the bottom of the trash or worn maternity pants when not pregnant, chances are you'll like the Nomad Mom Diary. Catch up with her daily on Facebook and Twitter.

8 Comments

  1. Totally with you here! I felt like I was back at high school when I started doing the playgroup rounds with my first daughter. It really makes a big difference to new mamas if the “regulars” take even just a few minutes to make you feel welcome.

  2. The use of the word “gym” is grounds for divorce, at least here in America.

    Hang in there.
    xo
    Meredith

  3. Human nature is so funny that way. Groups tend to close in around themselves and often for good reason. There is always that one inclusive sweet extrovert who will reach out to a newbie and bring her in. I try to remember to do it myself once in a while. If they knew what they were missing they would have been lining up to share their body hair stories with you.

  4. Ohh man. This is me right now – except there are no playgroups and I don’t speak the language.

    I am asking myself daily if moving was such a great idea….

    I hope you make new mates sooner that you can say ‘maybe my new Mummy mates are at the gym’

    • Hang in their Donkey mom! Someday we’ll look back on this time and think how silly we were to have ever worried about having friends….and please, please tell me that I won’t have to go to the gym to find my tribe. I know I have on yoga pants, but that is not a sign of any desire to break a sweat!

  5. I was just thinking about this today as I was walking back from taking my daughter to school.
    They don’t know what they are missing by ignoring you.
    Don’t you also feel that people these days just need to get off of their smart phones and make small talk once in awhile.

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