Really, I couldn’t care less about the World Cup.
And yet, the World Cup season is upon us, and people everywhere are cheering for their favorite teams. All over the world, the games are shown on TV with each match bookended by endless commentary. The goals are being re-run a gazillion times, in slow motion, because they don’t count until we have committed every possible second of them to memory.
There are interviews with the coaches and players and predictions who will be the winner. There are football-related ads and of course, the sponsors proudly present their affiliation with the games. In short, the World Cup is everywhere.
In all honesty I am getting sick of the games already. And the World Cup has just started and that means… a whole month of football craze. A month! Yawn, give me a break. Here’s what I’d prefer instead:
1) World Cup for ladies
Football is a game by men, for men, about men. Here’s how to make the games a little bit more watch-able for the lady crowd.There will still be men kicking a ball. But let’s make them do it shirtless, because that’s far easer on the eyes. The referees will be women of course. They will grade the men based on their hotness. Wine and cocktails should be served instead of beer, and free chocolate should be everywhere. Now these are games I would actually consider watching.
2) World Cup Sleep
But you know would be an even better idea? A World Cup Sleep. You go to sleep and wake up when the games are over, yes, very much like winter sleep. And if there is anything I need right now, it’s sleep. I just can’t get enough of it. So if you’re with me on this, go to bed and don’t leave it for the next month or so.
3) World Cup Party
Not that I am in party mood right now but well, the games are as good excuse to have a party as any other. And hey, why not change a dreadful time into something that is actually fun? I mean, just think of it: gallons of wine, cocktails, chocolates, and some good music that is loud enough to block out the nose from the football-loving crowd. Are you joining me? Great, let’s have a kiki and it’s going to be marvelous.
4) World Cup Me-Time
You know what? You can keep your games. Just do it without me! I’ll go somewhere really nice and remote with a SPA resort at the sea-side, library and good food. Oh and no people and no football, either. Yeah, at this point it kind of sounds like my dream vacation. So, while you’re all doing something for yourself, so can I. I am packing up my bags and going. You can join me, just please don’t talk to me, and especially don’t mention football or I’ll throw you into the sea.
5) No World Cup
Who needs the World Cup? We have football games like almost every day, the whole year through. And now we have to get excited for more? Seriously people, give me a break. Why not totally get rid of the World Cup? Is it too radical an idea? Or maybe make it last a day or two? And while we’re at it, we can reduce the amount of football games in our lives as well. I know this is impossible, but a girl can dream, right?
If you don’t want to celebrate the World Cup with everyone else, which of these options would you choose? Do you have more ideas? As for me, I know exactly which one I’d go for: Goodnight.
1 Comment
You mean it’s not nearly over?!? Heads to bed…