Addiction can come in many forms, but do you believe that a person can actually become addicted to video games?
If I wasn’t married to my husband, then I’d say heck no. You’re crazy. How can a person be addicted to playing video games?
Well, in my little world, this very real to me because I’m married to a video game addict. His addiction wreaks havoc on my marriage.
Instead of a husband who goes to the bar every night, he’s at the kitchen table staring dead-eyed into the laptop, While he’s physically present, his mind is nowhere near us…and that honestly makes me feel shitty.
Are we not important enough?
Are we not good enough?
I’ve also asked him if he doesn’t care about us enough to get off the damn game and spend time with us.
I can be talking to him, in full sentences, and he will acknowledge me and even speak a few words, but will he remember what I was saying? Nope. He won’t recall my question of “what would you like for dinner?” and it’s absolutely fucking frustrating.
It’s not just frustrating, but it also hurts.
You can imagine the screaming toxic fights this has caused in our marriage.
My husband has now limits to how much time he spends sucked into a screen; he can literally binge on video games all weekend if I wasn’t home to intervene. And then he will come off his binge, totally pissed that he just wasted the whole weekend on his stupid game. I don’t get it. “Why don’t you just get off that thing and spend time with us?” I’ve asked him this…many times. He’s response is even more confusing: “I want to…but, I can’t.”
I used to think that my husband just really fucking loves video games, but that’s not the issue. I like video games; they’re fun and I never pass up a chance to kick some ass in Mario Kart, yet it took me quite a few years to put some form of connection together as to why my husband has such a problem limiting his time spent on said games.
Addiction runs in his family.
His addictive personality makes him obsessive and compelled to tap out of life, and immerse himself in his computer screen. He views playing a video game as a de-stressor; he feels good when he plays, and is content. There is something that triggers his brain while he’s hooked in to the game and I suppose that’s just how an alcoholic or a drug addict feels. He wants to stop but he can’t.
My husband’s addiction to video games is real and I often feel like sending him to Gamer’s Anonymous or chucking
the laptop out the window…. I’ve seriously debated the latter a time or two. He admits his non-healthy use to video games and tries like hell to play less of them; he has also excluded certain games that seem to prolong his bingeing, but it’s a fucking struggle. He will be fine for a few weeks then something happens like he gets stressed out or it’s a rainy day outside and he unloads it on the computer screen…then we’re back at square one.
It’s a struggle in which I desperately want my husband to be happy and I don’t want to be that nagging wife; but I also want him to spend time with my children and enjoy the world around us.
Sometimes, it’s just really fucking hard…it’s hard to try to hold it together and understand where he’s coming from. And it’s shitty for me to try to keep it together and be supportive when I want to rip his head off. I’ve become more understanding over the years and I totally get it; both of my husband’s parents are addicts, his grandfather and etc. It’s a vicious and ugly cycle…so I try to remind myself that video games are a hell of a lot better than booze and drugs.
I want to add that he’s made tremendous strides in his video game problem, especially after we’ve had kids, but it’s still a struggle. I’ve definitely learned to communicate more about this though; if I want him to help me or spend time with us then I tell him. And he won’t shrug me off anymore…he’s back to valuing my feelings.
It’s not perfect, no marriage ever is; it’s a work in progress of understanding and communication.
That’s all we can really try for.
Hey I’m Laura…. I live in Germany…it’s pretty neat here but I miss Target and general tso’s chicken. I’m a mom to two very energetic little boys that consume all my time and energy…not to mention sanity. I write at http://excuse-the-mess.com & you can find me on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/excusethemessblog/. I’ve been featured in Scary Mommy and BluntMoms, and The Mighty. I enjoy adult conversation over some coffee or wine. Find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/_excusethemess