Ok, to be fair, school fundraisers aren’t alone in sucking.

Hockey fundraisers suck. Dance fundraisers suck. Gymnastics fundraisers suck.

You get the idea.

Schools will hock just about anything these days but I’ve always had a lame excuse logical reason why I couldn’t possibly buy what ever horrible thing they were selling. Chocolate covered almonds, no thank you, we have a nut allergy in the house. Buckets of frozen cookie dough, we don’t eat sugar. Wrapping paper and gift bags, ummm really, are you kidding me with this one? Magazine subscriptions, I get all my content online, it’s better for the environment and all. Brick sized coupon books, we don’t eat fast food or play laser tag, sorry.

Over the years I’ve been able to stay away from the school fundraisers for the most part. I hate being pressured to buy crap I don’t want or that will make me fat when I consume 6 boxes of it. Don’t get me wrong, I will support my school or the team my kids are on. I’ve done my time schlepping dozens of cases of Girl Guide cookies for the kids to sell, as well as devoured my weight in cookies to show my support. Damn you thin mints! In my opinion if the school needs money then they should do a raffle for a big ticket item like a trip to Hawaii. Now THAT’S a prize I can get behind. Until then I will put up my wall of steel and stay clear of cookie dough and gift bags.

But wait, what is this new fundraiser at school? Oh that’s right, it’s GUILT.

Yup, that’s what our school is using this year, good old fashioned guilt like yo mama uses. They got all 4 of my cute, cuddly and artistic kids to draw a picture or design on a square piece of paper. A hand drawn masterpiece that they send home so you can hold and touch and marvel at it’s greatness. And along with that masterpiece they send along an order form for a variety of over priced merchandise you can buy with your kids artwork printed on it. Everything from coffee mugs to t-shirts to pen holders to keychains. Now if ever there was a list of junk that I don’t want to buy it’s coffee mugs and t-shirts but if you put MY KIDS’ art on those mugs, I’ll be on it like the last Tickle Me Elmo in 1996.

Damn. They finally got me.

Well played school fundraisers, well played.

Author

An amazing collection of bright women who somehow manage to work, play, parent and survive and write blog posts all at the same time. We are the BLUNTmoms, always honest, always direct and surprising hilarious.

1 Comment

  1. Try being pressured to fundraise for your kids’ fancy ass private school. That one always kills (and gets) me.

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