Not since JK Rowling found a publisher has there been such a miracle of literary genius to hit the market, until today.

Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is just that.

From his marijuana and alcohol induced state, author Elijah Daniel brings to life what others might term as lifeless: Donald Trump’s sexual desire. His 2-hour marathon to get his idea to Amazon has been rewarded with thousand of downloads and even more fans. Read past the typos and smell the toupee glue while you join me on the Love Train for Trump Temptation.

Gems like “his nickname is “The Donald”, but I’m pretty sure they mean “Daddy,” and “his face is wrinkled like a beautiful overflowing flesh toilet,” bring the reader into the fantasy adventure of a bellboy wanting his bed snake to meet the “giant melting fat carrot with fake hair.”

Mr. Daniel’s use of simple metaphors and similes is just what his grade 3 teacher has been waiting for. “Elijah was a piston rod with a vivid imagination. I once remember a story he submitted that had the word donk in it 50 times,” stated Mr. Johnson. “What a nut cannon he was. It is nice to see him cum into his own and produce a work of literary mastery,” he continued. “And he only used the word donk once.”

In fact, that is this reviewer’s most glowing critique of Mr. Daniel’s work. The euphemisms used for his bayonet rival the number of different ways my kids can ask for cookies.

“My only complaint is that the book ends so abruptly,” one fan commented. Thank goodness reviewers and fans of the book on Amazon have continued to jizz fun like a super soaker. Tweets about the Master Piece have been flooding the internet with the #TrumpTemptations hashtag.

Do yourself a favour, download this easy read and ignore the author’s warnings of ‘’What the fuck are you doing? Seriously. Why are you reading this shit?” because he was high and doesn’t know what a phenomenon he has created. Grab your ‘lil buddy, your meat ’n’ veg and your palm pilot and bring them into your pup tent. El Presidente will thank you for it. 


Kristine Laco

Kristine Laco shares the stories we all have with a splash of sarcasm, a pinch of bitch and a ton of wine at Adulting In Progress dot com. Her middle finger is her favourite and she lives by the motto that if you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them. She takes selfies at the gyno. Taco Tuesday is her gospel. Reality TV is real folks. She is making turning 50 a job because she doesn't have one.

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