Yes I am Judging You

“I don’t judge people.”

A statement I hear all the time.  Let me tell you something.  The people who utter that statement are either liars or sociopaths. Because if you don’t judge others then you have no moral compass.

Judging situations and other people is one of those things that helps make us who we are, what we believe in and determines who to put in the friend, acquaintance or get the hell out of my life pile.

I judge people all the time. ( And so do you.)

It’s human nature and there’s not a damn thing wrong with it.

But let’s be clear here.  There is a difference between judging and condemning.  When I come across you at the park, in your five inch heels, too short skirt and too long nails I am judging the fuck out of you.

I am trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you think this is a good idea.  I don’t immediately think that you must be a bad mother or a terrible human being.  I’ve known some perfectly decent people who have done things that I think are just plain stupid.  It didn’t make them any less decent.

Now I might not be jumping all over the chance to make a play date with you and your kid but unless I sense you are also a total bitch I most likely won’t avoid you and might even engage in meaningless chatter with you.

And I know, I so know, that the whole time I am trying to assess you and your Barbie doll wanna be ways you are also judging me.

Me and my sloppy pony tail because that is the only thing I can do with this mess on days I don’t wash it.  Me and my bagged out skinny jeans because after one wear they aren’t skinny anymore until I wash them and why would I wash them to go to the park and play in the sand box?

So maybe I think you are trying too hard and maybe you think I’m not trying hard enough.  I can live with that.

We have judged each other.

Silently and maybe even respectfully.

Maybe a play date isn’t such a ridiculous idea after all.