“Mom, Max needs your help!” Shrieks my daughter perched at the top of the stairs, staring at the closed bathroom door. What could my sixteen-year-old son possibly need help with that we didn’t cover when he was three, and we practiced aiming with Cheerios. I yell to him to confirm he needs assistance and assess
Want to get somewhere but don’t want to have to do any pesky walking? Then a Segway might be for you. I first remember wanting to ride a…
I drive a beige minivan and have an impressive collection of equally beige granny panties. Sexy, right? My marriage is like a bowl of caramel pudding: sweet, predictable, a little boring. If my marriage were an ice cream, it would be vanilla – no sprinkles . We’re not a kinky couple. Neither of us had a
After the ink was dry on the divorce decree and proceedings came to a close, I thought the hardest part of the divorce was behind us. I used to empathize with people going through divorces. “I’m so sorry, that sucks. I’m here for you.” I never knew exactly how ineffectual the “obligatory” sympathy was, until
I am no stranger to disgusting things. When I was 8, my brother slammed his foot in the front door, and his big toe was left with a mangled and eventually blackened toenail. Within a week it fell off, and he unceremoniously tossed that sucker into my Barbie Dream Camper, right next to Ken and
We were recently lucky enough to add a beautiful and fierce baby girl to our family, already a never-ceasing source of light for me because of our three-year-old son. He is on the autism spectrum, but so incredibly bright and curious that our days are filled with the same joys and tribulations as those of
I am a patient person, people commend me on this trait. I have walked into many rooms, to find my children doing the raunchiest things you can ever imagine, and I have kept my cool. “Joey, could you please stop peeing on your baby sister. Thank you, let’s go have a snack,” is an example.
I have never been afraid of the dark. I’ve had other misgivings–mostly involving elevators or vermon–but never the dark. So when I heard of a restaurant that has…
She looks so peaceful and calm, as if sleeping. The doctors say to talk to her; she can hear you. I don’t believe them and I look for…
Allow me to start by issuing my very deepest condolences to any families and loved ones of the victims and survivors of all of these horrible school shootings…