I have 2 girls. Bonnie aged 3 and Marley aged 2. But there is a slight problem. They hate me. No honestly they do.
I’m married to a soldier which means super dad is away most of the time. I quit my job to be a stay at home mum and they make sure I regret that decision every waking minute of the day.
They fight, they scream, they destroy. The minute super dad leaves they decide they’re going to be bitches by either attempting suicide down the stairs or trying to rip the cat’s head off.
What did I do wrong? I gave birth to them, Marley almost in the hospital car park, both weighing almost 9 lbs, each destroying my body, youth and vagina yet they don’t seem to think that was enough.
I spend most of my day crying on the hallway floor wondering why I was blessed with bitches for kids. I can use a soft tone or a harsh tone but they still scream so loud that my eardrums quiver in fear. They spend an hour refusing to eat their dinner which they begged for and after we’ve all cried and I throw their dinner in the bin they scream because they wanted it after all. Guess it’s toast for dinner again then!
I live 120 miles away from my family with no car and on a military camp which is 20 miles from the nearest supermarket. I’m tired and I’m emotionally and physically exhausted.
And then enter super dad. The hero. The man who can do no wrong. They flutter their mud covered eyelashes and scream “Daddy I love you!” As loud as they can then run and jump in his arm, turn their head then look at me and smile. Not nice smiles. Ever seen the shining? Yeah they look at me like those twins look at Danny.
He walks in the door with his happy face as I sit there with puffy eyes dried up tears and snot in my mouth and says “what’s wrong with you?”
Prick. F*ck you. I look like sh*t. I feel like sh*t. I’m still in my pyjamas at 5pm, I forgot what colour the carpet is throughout the house, the dishes have grown so much life that I think they’ve evolved into a colony and you ask me what’s wrong? I haven’t washed my hair in days and I haven’t shaved in so long I’m starting to question my gender but that’s fine babe, lie down you must be knackered.
I have no idea what I’m doing. I can honestly admit that. But the healthiest thing for me is that I’m not ashamed that I’m struggling. Bonnie and Marley are 18 months apart in age and I think anyone who has had children that close together can admit that it’s hard.
In the UK we are surrounded by earth mums who give you disgusted looks if you’re ripping open a packet of biscuits in the supermarket before I’ve even paid for them to shut my brats up and I just don’t care. F*ck you with your 2 week old baby you obviously have no idea what is about to hit you. Good luck my friend!
So here’s the truth. I love my girls so much that I would die for them. I will dedicate my life to making sure they are happy and healthy. But do I like them? No.
About the author: Perry Fletcher, 24 and married with 2 girls. Regrets everything. Likes to ensure everyone knows it. www.thingsthatmumsdo.wordpress.com