I’m stalking my ex-boyfriend.
On Instagram.
On Facebook.
On Google maps.
He is the “one that got away”. The one I left for the possibility of something better. That better never came, and now I’m obsessed.
He just joined Facebook – he was kind of a late bloomer that way – so up until this point, I stalked his friends and family.
And his wife.
I know I sound creepy. I’m not.
Really.
It’s a bit of a game – looking into a world that “might have been” and comparing to `what is`. The what if`s are so much more exciting that what is now, and that is a problem for me.
To top it off – he is a brilliant marketer – so his life, albeit online, looks absolutely cool and hip’tasticly perfect. I was lucky enough, however, to hear through a friend of a friend that things are rough in his relationship.
This pleases me.
I know, I sound sick. I swear I’m not.
But, if I am – you are too.
95% of women online, between 28-48, have tried to seek information about their ex’s online. Statistically, this means that you’ve likely done the same.
That’s a statistic that I’m sure of – it’s been derived from a query of friends. I got them all good and drunk before I conducted the survey.
Late last week, while out for drinks with my book club, my survey turned into a rather revealing chat and confession time. Yes, most of us had stalked an ex online. The only one who says she has never “Google stalked” an ex, Mary, also claims to have been a virgin until she was married.
Whatever.
Once our conversation died down, we ordered our next round, and then, rather suspiciously, each gal pulled out their phones and began to scroll.
Even Virgin Mary.
Sick fucks.
5 Comments
OMG, this is so great… there is not one single ex of mine that is even mildly interesting. Except the guy that eventually got diagnosed with a serious horrifying mental illness. I feel bad that I got out before that exploded his life.
I have noted that most of my ex males have gone on to mate with much nicer and more passive women. I am not going to think about that too much.
OMG – are you living in my house? I just had a conversation with my husband the other night about my ex…I had been stalking him and since my husband also knows him, I made him do the whole “what could have been” conversation with me. It was a kinda strange and very interesting. Mine still hasn’t gotten married and I feel like it is my fault. I am sure that had we stayed together I would be married now to him and raising his kids. Instead I moved forward and he is still exactly the same. Thank god for social media…it can help remind you of all of the reasons why you aren’t with that dude anymore.
I won’t lie and say that I haven’t thought about an ex or two over the years but mostly in the “thank god I dodged that bullet” kind of way. I love this post!!!
I’ve totally stalked my ex online. I’m friends with his sister and his best friends’ wife. Both of them are friends with his wife. It gives me comfort to know I made the right choice and that he’s moved on. Eventually.
I’m friends with one of my ex’s on Facebook. Recently I wrote a post about my ex’s, calling them all “dipshidiots,” which is my favorite word to describe all the guys I’ve dated. He pvt msg’d me on FB after reading the post and apologized to me for being such a dipshidiot. Twenty years had passed, but it still felt wonderful. Loved this honest post – yes, we’ve all done it.