You grew in my womb for 9 months. I grew fat with anticipation for you. Also from all the trail mix and tacos. Sure you are cute, but really, I have a tiny bit of a grudge about some things. Right or wrong I blame you for stuff.
I blame you for the extra fat that clings to my hips, even though you are now 9 and I can’t really call it baby fat at this point with a straight face. I blame you for the way yoga pants sound inviting and how a 10 pm bedtime sound exciting. I blame you for the way the lyrics to Frozen are stuck in my head and for all the Saturday mornings spent looking back at Dora the Explorer’s creepy staring eyes. Most of all, I blame you for my mom brain.
Remember the time I found my keys in the fridge? Good times. Also, the time I found the cordless phone in the dryer? That was awesome. I distinctly recall completely blanking out at the school supply list trying to figure out what grade you were in. Grade 4? Grade 5? I rely on my Instagram feed to remind me when you last went to the dentist and the optometrist. Thank goodness for social media. While I have never abandoned you, I’ve left many a list on the kitchen counter on grocery day. One day this will make sense when you reminisce about the time mom came home from the store with just nachos and batteries.
You know those commercials, that say “Pepperidge Farms remembers.” They seem bragg-y now that I can’t find my bra. Does Pepperidge Farms remember where I left it? That would be super. Mom brain is a thing and it’s real.
Luckily, I have a secret weapon. I’ve got BOO. It’s high quality fat that supports cognitive performance. Do you know what that means? Fewer lost bras. More clear memories of appointments. Higher likelihood of remembering keys, phone and grocery list. Worst case scenario, at the end of the day when I sit down to blog, I remember the crazy shit that happens to me and I can share it with you. But what do you DO with it? Well you can add it to your Bulletproof Coffee, mix it in with some salad dressing or even toss it in your morning smoothie. You can get some BOO too, right here.
BOO is pretty awesome, but, dear child, I still blame you for that other stuff. And now I will remember it, now that I have healthy fat to support my cognitive performance.