This morning I set my alarm for 5.45am. Hubby was due to be picked up for work at 5.55 am and I wanted to surprise him with an early morning hug, cup of coffee and well wishes for his busy day. ( I normally would opt for the extra 30 mins in bed before the kids wake up!) I quietly came out of the bedroom and was met with the smell of burning and a clatter of cutlery on the floor in between expletives of ‘Oh shit…. piece of crap….load of bollocks’ . Intrigued I rushed into the kitchen to see hubby  (dressed only in his boxers) trying to squeeze a snapped boot lace that was on fire into his concrete sodden boots with a SPOON – in the near dark!


“What the SHITTING HELL ARE YOU DOING????” was my response to my beloved – and at that moment I internally combusted, raging, tired, in my dressing gown and pissed off at his stupidity. And so our morning of squabbling began.


It wasn’t the fact that he was trying to  steal my Martha Stewart moment of ‘Why don’t you use this string darling instead of the laces that are on FIRE”! It was more the fact that he was doing this with now only 5 minutes before he had to leave the house. He has no concept of time management, he never plans for the day ahead and he is always on the cusp of being late for everything. I hate it. 65% of our arguments stem from his time keeping. It drives me to insanity and I physically feel myself changing like the Hulk if I think he’s going to be or make us late for something. (Even now I’m turning slightly green at the thought).


I grabbed his boots, smoldering laces and spoon (?) and ordered him to run and get changed whilst I ‘fixed’ things. Sure enough – as he finally emerged dressed and with boots firmly on – he was ready with 5 seconds to spare. My fingers were cut from trying to sort out the laces but he was triumphant. “See” he said, “ I’m never late!”. THANKS TO ME!!


What irks me more than anything is that he’s right! He isn’t actually LATE per say, but I don’t think he appreciates that behind his laidback stature is a flapping wife who is stressed out beyond belief to make sure he is “never late”.


Next time – I’m sleeping through the alarm!


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  1. That was awesome!!! I too live with a husband with no concept of time management. I used to blame his mother. Until I had a child who is the same way. Not MY fault! Loved this post!

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