You know those days when your morning starts with cleaning up the garbage spilled from your bin by Evil Genius Raccoons and only improves slightly when you discover that your…
I’ve never been a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. Eat less, eat better, exercise more, work harder, relax more . . . yadda yadda. The onset of a new…
When I was three-years-old, my favourite movie was The Wizard of Oz. There was just one problem. I had no beef with the flying monkeys or the gnarled…
A can of creamed corn a Q-tip Line dancing in gym class The Epilady Charo Hammer toes A pierced nether region Expressions like “you do you” A porcelain…
Your social media feed is stuffed to bursting with the resolutions your friends and family are making for the new year. All the good and earnest people feel…
My husband asked me if I had any New Year’s resolutions that I was shooting for this year. Shooting for? What the fuck does that even mean? Yeah,…
I am sick as a dog. I wonder where that expression comes from? My dog, to my knowledge, has never been sick. Though he does eat his own…
My red-haired friend in Seattle emailed me a succinct message before the holidays, the kind that is less than 140 characters and cuts to the core: “Sorry for…
Back in the late eighties, early nineties I was an asshole to my mom. Not all the time. Not every day. But far too often… I’d be all…
Who’s got the winter blues? For me, the slide down begins after the New Year and steadily declines building rapid speed from there, falling into the pit of…
Let’s be real. The anticipation of Christmas is better than the actual experience of Christmas. For the first thirty minutes, the twinkling lights, jovial ambient noise, and surge…
The holidays can be a tough time for people who have suffered the loss of a loved one, no matter how much time has gone by. Sitting down…
It’s that time of year when I am in full swing Christmas-mode, up to my eyeballs in holly jolly. Over the next couple nights I will be wrapping…
I smile at the cashier and say “Happy Holidays” as I check out of the grocery store line with a cart full of food for Christmas dinner. “It’s…